Gratitude for Growth

It's around this time that most of us naturally tend to reflect on the year just past as we embark on a new one. What have we learned and achieved the past year? How have we changed and grown? And I think this is a far greater way to mark the turning of a year - to conduct a little ‘self-audit’ - rather than simply critique the habits you want to shift, setting unrealistic New Year's resolutions doomed to fail.

For those fortunate enough to have people to spend it with, Christmas and the holiday season brings us together, to connect, to express our love and gratitude for one another. So, as well as feeling thankful for loved ones, I would encourage you all to look back over the past 12 months to list your gratitudes. After all there’s a growing body of research that suggests actively practicing gratitude can lead to a more abundant and fulfilling life – and who doesn’t want one of those in 2025?!

It's so easy to lose track of how much has shifted or changed for a person over the course of a year.

At the start of this year, I felt unsure of my business offer, less clear on how the core programme was going to all fit together and be the gold that I know it truly is. I was much less confident in my ability to talk about well-being with the passion I now find comes so easily to me. I lacked the surety and courage that I now find within myself. After all, looking back I was still training at the start of the year, earning my Clinical Hypnotherapy in Practice diploma. Falling in love with a new discipline that can work so powerfully where other treatments have failed.

I was, again, in awe of the mind and body’s ability to self-heal given the right support and circumstances.

It’s reinvigorated my teaching, leading me to weave in layers of self-help tools to our programs including powerful self-hypnosis exercises designed to reduce stress and build emotional resilience. We are after all the voice we hear the most throughout our lives so learning how to handle and improve the quality of that internal dialogue seems to me like a great basis for a happier life experience.

This past year I’ve noticed that I don’t name-call as often, over time (thanks to mindfulness) my head has become less noisy and frankly much kinder. If I do catch my mind calling me an idiot, I question the validity of the insult I’ve just heard. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself and if its unkind, challenge it – is it true? Is it helpful? Taking this up as a new year habit over time will lead to far greater happiness and peace of mind than saying to yourself, you’re quitting chocolate for good or pledging to go to the gym three times a week.

I strongly feel that to care properly for your body you first need to love it.

So many of us take our bodies for granted, use and abuse it for years with late nights, alcohol, junk food and evenings slobbing on the sofa. It leads to a sense of guilt and shame we’d rather not contemplate until moments like colleagues or mates sharing their resolutions force our minds to consider our own health and habits.

So, if you’re looking to make some changes in 2025 but it feels daunting, or you’ve got a track record of failed resolutions then how about pledging to talk to yourself with more kindness and compassion?  Talking to yourself as if you are talking to a good friend is like having a supportive best mate living in your head. This isn’t self-indulgent, naval-gazing or wallowing in self-pity. It is simply acknowledging the pain you are in and motivating yourself with kindness not criticism.

So many of us were brought up with the ‘tough love’ mentality believing that being hard on yourself is the only way to succeed.

Falling into the habit of berating ourselves for past actions or inactions in light of new information or understanding. The curse of new knowledge simply bringing additional layers of self-loathing. So, next time the ‘how could I have been so stupid?’ moment happens to you it pays to remember your past self was doing the very best they could with the resources and knowledge available to them at the time.

Kinder self-talk can bring profound wellbeing benefits influencing everything from physical health (self-compassion reduces both inflammation and cortisol) to emotional resilience, greater self-esteem and boosted motivation, to ultimately feeling less stressed.

So, the next time you catch yourself being harsh with your internal dialogue, intervene, call it out. Correct the narrative and over time this more compassionate self-talk creates an inner environment where you can thrive. The quality of your relationships will improve, and you’ll navigate life’s challenges more easily, building your stress resilience in the process.

This to me is a more achievable and more importantly sustainable goal as we welcome in 2025!